As someone who has walked the painful path of sex and porn addiction, I know firsthand how devastating it can be.
My name is Craig Perra, founder of The Mindful Habit System, and I wasn’t always the person I am today. I was a sex and porn addict.
At my lowest, I was out of control—engaging in dangerous behaviors, acting out with prostitutes, and even using drugs. My life was spiraling. I was so consumed by shame and despair that it all became too much to bear.
At my rock bottom, I was fired from my job—a moment that should have been a wake-up call but instead pushed me even further into darkness. The shame I felt was so overwhelming that I attempted to end my life by overdose. I was hospitalized for three days at Heritage Oaks Treatment Center in Sacramento, California.
Lying in that hospital bed, I realized something had to change. I had been in traditional therapy and attending 12-step meetings for over two decades, yet here I was—at my absolute lowest. I knew I had to try something different.
That realization sparked a journey of transformation, a journey that would eventually lead to the creation of The Mindful Habit® System.
This guide is inspired by my own experience of hitting rock bottom and climbing my way back up. My mission is to provide you with the information and options you need to make the best decision for yourself or your loved ones.
Sometimes, people need a sex addiction therapist to help them navigate deep-seated trauma or mental health issues. Other times, they need a sex addiction counselor for guidance and support.
As someone who has walked the painful path of sex and porn addiction, I know firsthand how devastating it can be.
My name is Craig Perra, founder of The Mindful Habit System, and I wasn’t always the person I am today. I was a sex and porn addict.
At my lowest, I was out of control—engaging in dangerous behaviors, acting out with prostitutes, and even using drugs. My life was spiraling. I was so consumed by shame and despair that it all became too much to bear.
At my rock bottom, I was fired from my job—a moment that should have been a wake-up call but instead pushed me even further into darkness. The shame I felt was so overwhelming that I attempted to end my life by overdose. I was hospitalized for three days at Heritage Oaks Treatment Center in Sacramento, California.
Lying in that hospital bed, I realized something had to change. I had been in traditional therapy and attending 12-step meetings for over two decades, yet here I was—at my absolute lowest. I knew I had to try something different.
That realization sparked a journey of transformation, a journey that would eventually lead to the creation of The Mindful Habit® System.
This guide is inspired by my own experience of hitting rock bottom and climbing my way back up. My mission is to provide you with the information and options you need to make the best decision for yourself or your loved ones.
Sometimes, people need a sex addiction therapist to help them navigate deep-seated trauma or mental health issues. Other times, they need a sex addiction counselor for guidance and support.
Deciding to seek help for sex addiction is a significant step toward healing and reclaiming control over your life.
For many, the journey starts when they hit rock bottom—whether that’s after being caught in destructive behavior or sinking to a new low.. In these moments of crisis, hiring a sex addiction counselor or therapist can be incredibly valuable.
Therapists and counselors are particularly skilled at treating mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and trauma—issues that often accompany addiction. If you're finding it difficult to work, too depressed or anxious to function, it may be time to seek professional therapy.
Many of our clients at The Mindful Habit System may feel broken, but they’ve reached a point where they’re ready to take action. Hitting rock bottom has sparked something inside them—a fierce determination to do the hard work required to heal and grow.
(1) realize that you can’t do it alone;
(2) recognize the importance of having an expert in your corner who can accelerate and deepen your journey;
(3) just got caught and need help putting your marriage back together; and/or
(4) are sinking to new lows.
The Single Greatest Factor When Choosing a Sex Addiction Counselor or Therapist
When searching for a sex addiction counselor or therapist, the most critical factor to consider is your connection with them. Research consistently shows that the therapeutic alliance—or the working relationship between a client and therapist—is the strongest predictor of success in therapy.
“More than twenty-five years of research has demonstrated that the therapeutic alliance is the most robust predictor of therapeutic outcome.“ R. King and M. Bambling. "Therapeutic alliance and clinical practice." Psychotherapy in Australia, 8 (2001): 38-43 (emphasis added).
A strong therapeutic alliance is associated with better outcomes across various types of therapy (R. King and M. Bambling), and it plays a vital role in retention and symptom improvement especially for addiction recovery.
As someone who has personally struggled with sex and porn addiction, I understand the shame and pain associated with these challenges. This empathy allows me to build a strong working alliance with my clients, which enhances the effectiveness of our work together.
At The Mindful Habit, we prioritize creating a deep, empathetic connection with each client, knowing that this bond is foundational to achieving lasting change.
In summary, you must connect deeply with your provider. Working with someone who has traversed the shameful journey of sex addiction can dramatically increase the strength of the alliance and, as a result, lead to better outcomes quicker.
The benefits of sex addiction counseling and therapy go far beyond just stopping the addictive behavior. With the right support, long-term recovery isn't just possible—it's achievable.
Sex addiction therapy provides a space where you can dig deep, understand the root causes of your addiction, and learn to prevent relapse by developing healthier habits and coping strategies.
But let's be clear: it's not just about putting an end to the addiction. It's about becoming the person you were meant to be. Sex addiction therapy or counseling helps you increase self-awareness, manage your emotions, and make better decisions. It’s about transforming your pain into power and using your experiences as a catalyst for personal growth.
One of the greatest gifts of therapy is the potential to rebuild and strengthen your relationships. Addiction can wreak havoc on trust, communication, and intimacy, but with the right therapeutic approach, you can heal these wounds.
You'll learn to communicate more openly, rebuild trust, and foster deeper connections with those you love. These aren't just skills for overcoming addiction—they're skills for living a richer, fuller life.
In summary, the right sex addiction counseling or therapy will accelerate, deepen, and help you sustain your journey.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Sex & Porn Addiction Treatment
How CBT Works:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a practical, action-oriented approach that focuses on changing the way you think and behave.
In CBT, you dive deep into the thought patterns and beliefs driving your addictive behaviors. By identifying these negative thoughts, you can challenge and replace them with healthier, more constructive ones.
This isn’t just about talking; it's about doing. You'll learn specific skills to manage your urges and reshape your behavior, empowering you to break free from the cycle of addiction.
Benefits and Success Rates:
CBT has a solid track record and is widely used in sex addiction counseling. Studies consistently show that CBT can significantly reduce addictive behaviors, including those related to sex and pornography.
The skills you learn in CBT aren’t just tools for overcoming addiction—they’re tools for life. CBT empowers you to handle future challenges, helping you build a more resilient, healthier mindset and lifestyle.
How ACT Works:
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is about embracing your thoughts and feelings rather than fighting them. It encourages you to accept your inner experiences—such as urges and cravings—while committing to actions that align with your core values.
The focus is on mindfulness and being present in the moment, which helps you detach from the struggle against your addiction and focus on living a meaningful, values-driven life.
Benefits and Success Rates:
ACT has been shown to be highly effective in treating various forms of addiction, including sex addiction.
Research published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that ACT significantly reduced addictive behaviors and improved psychological well-being by helping individuals develop psychological flexibility—the ability to stay present and engaged in meaningful activities, even in the face of difficult thoughts and feelings.
By learning to accept your thoughts and emotions without judgment, you reduce the power they have over you.
ACT isn't just about resisting urges; it's about building a life where those urges have less impact and influence.
How Parts Work Therapy Works:
Parts Work Therapy, including approaches like the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model and The Mindful Habit System, is supported by neuroscience and recognizes that we all have different parts within us, each with its own motivations and desires. This concept is brilliantly illustrated in the Pixar movies Inside Out 1 and 2.
When it comes to sex addiction, different parts of you likely conflict—one part might be driven by compulsive behavior, another might hide or lie about it, another might feel shame, and yet another might strive for control and self-improvement.
Parts Work Sex Addiction Therapy helps you identify, understand, and harmonize these internal parts. Both the IFS Model and The Mindful Habit System are evidence-based treatment models with a proven track record of helping people struggling with sex addiction.
The IFS Model focuses on healing the wounded parts and creating balance by empowering the "Self" to lead.
The Mindful Habit System integrates parts work with habit formation, mindfulness, healthy sexuality, integrity, and personal development to create a holistic approach to overcoming addiction.
Benefits and Success Rates:
Parts Work Therapy is particularly effective in addressing the complex emotions and internal conflicts associated with sex addiction.
By working with your parts rather than against them, you can transform the parts of you that drive your addiction into allies for your recovery.
This approach not only helps reduce addictive behaviors but also fosters a deeper understanding of yourself, leading to more lasting and meaningful change.
How Mindfulness Works in Sex Addiction Therapy:
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully experiencing the moment without judgment.
This approach is particularly powerful in managing addiction because it helps individuals develop greater awareness of their thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
By practicing mindfulness, you can observe your cravings and urges without getting swept away by them, which is crucial for breaking the cycle of compulsive behavior.
The Science Behind Mindfulness and Addiction:
Research has demonstrated that mindfulness can significantly reduce addictive behaviors by addressing some of the underlying causes, such as stress, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation.
A study published in the “Journal of Substance Use & Misuse” found that mindfulness-based interventions led to a reduction in the frequency and intensity of cravings among individuals with substance use disorders.
Additionally, research in *Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews* highlighted that mindfulness training can increase self-control by enhancing activity in the prefrontal cortex—the brain region responsible for decision-making and impulse control.
Another study from “Addiction Research & Theory” supports that mindfulness helps treat the underlying psychological issues fueling addiction, such as unresolved trauma, depression, and anxiety.
By cultivating a non-judgmental awareness of your inner experiences, you can better understand and address the emotional triggers that drive addictive behavior.
This process not only helps reduce the compulsive urge to engage in sex or pornography but also fosters emotional resilience and psychological well-being.
How The Mindful Habit System Works:
The Mindful Habit System takes mindfulness a step further by integrating it with habit formation and parts work to create a comprehensive and dynamic treatment program.
This system is built on the premise that sustainable recovery requires more than just stopping addictive behavior; it involves transforming your life by creating new, positive habits and addressing the different "parts" of your psyche that contribute to addiction.
Benefits of The Mindful Habit System:
This integrated approach makes The Mindful Habit System a unique and effective pathway to overcoming sex addiction. It addresses the issue from multiple angles—mind, body, and spirit—leading to deeper and more lasting change.
By combining mindfulness, parts work, and habit formation, The Mindful Habit System empowers you to build a life that isn't just free from addiction, but rich in purpose, fulfillment, and healthy sexuality.
The Mindful Habit also provides powerful support for spouses that is included in all of it’s intensive recovery programs.
It’s also important to consider the credentials and methodologies of the professionals you might work with. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) are one option, but it's worth noting that their methods have been viewed as controversial by some in the field.
The American Society for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) does not endorse the CSAT model, and both the American Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization have rejected the "sex addiction as a disease" treatment model.
While these credentials are one approach, finding a therapist or coach whose methods resonate with you and align with your personal beliefs and goals is essential.
In our experience, deeply religious clients find this modality helpful because the model has roots in 12 Steps Alcoholics Anonymous, that has roots in Christianity.
While you are free to choose your “Higher Power” in that model, some clients need a science-based secular approach like The Mindful Habit System that doesn’t treat your broken sexuality as a “disease.”
Choosing the right therapist or counselor is just the first step. It’s equally crucial to evaluate the effectiveness of the therapy or coaching you receive.
Choosing the right therapist or counselor is just the first step. It’s equally crucial to evaluate the effectiveness of the therapy or coaching you receive.
Here are some metrics to help you measure progress:
Self-Control: Are you exercising more self-control over your behaviors?
Self-Care: Are you taking better care of your physical and emotional well-being?
Relationships: Are you responding more positively to your partner and loved ones?
Empathy: Are you becoming more empathetic towards your partner and developing a deeper appreciation for the pain you’ve caused?
Trigger Management: Are you better at managing triggers that lead to addictive behaviors?
Self-Perception: Do you feel better about yourself and your journey?
At The Mindful Habit, we emphasize an action-oriented, goal-centric approach. Our clients often see progress through specific, measurable changes in their behavior and mindset.
We understand that not every program is for everyone, so finding the right fit for your unique needs is vital.
Many of our clients have shared their experiences with traditional therapy and some of the limitations they faced:
Slow Progress: Therapy can sometimes feel slow and lacks the urgency to drive meaningful change.
Lack of Structure: Traditional therapy may lack a structured path when the client is setting the agenda, making it difficult for clients to see clear progress.
Problem-Centric Focus: Some therapies focus heavily on problems rather than solutions and actionable strategies.
Tools and Strategies: Clients often report that traditional sex addiction therapy did not provide them with the practical tools needed to manage their behaviors effectively.
Sobriety vs. Healthy Sexuality: Traditional models often focus on sobriety rather than fostering a healthy relationship with sexuality.
Alignment with 12-Step Models: Not everyone resonates with the 12-step model, and some find it limiting.
Many of our clients are men who prefer a more structured, action-oriented approach that focuses on creating positive outcomes. The slow pace and lack of practical tools in traditional therapy settings often frustrates them.
Studies have shown that goal-setting, structure, and actionable strategies are particularly effective for behavior change, and these elements are at the core of The Mindful Habit System.
We also emphasize the importance of building healthy sexual habits and systems to support long-term success.
Our program is not just about achieving sobriety; it’s about cultivating a fulfilling and healthy relationship with sexuality.
This approach aligns with the latest research in behavioral science, which suggests that building systems around positive habits is more effective than focusing solely on abstinence.
Ultimately, finding the right sex addiction therapist or counselor depends on your individual needs and preferences.
For those who prefer a science-based approach with the flexibility to incorporate their spirituality, The Mindful Habit System offers an alternative to traditional sex addiction therapy.
We offer a comprehensive program integrating scientific principles and personalized spiritual paths.
If you’re looking for a program that provides structure, world-class expertise, a supportive community, and practical tools for long-term success, consider exploring The Mindful Habit System. Plus, unlike traditional sex addiction therapy, we offer a 30-day money-back guarantee, so there's no risk.
Remember, the right therapist or program can make all the difference in your recovery journey, so take the time to find a professional or program that feels right for you.
By focusing on the right connection, understanding the credentials and approaches of different professionals, and evaluating progress through clear metrics, you can find the right path to healing. Whether through therapy or a structured coaching program like The Mindful Habit, the most important thing is to take that first step towards reclaiming your life.
Call Us To Schedule Your Appointment:
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Craig and Michelle Perra aren’t just experts in theory, they’ve lived this experience through and through. With Craig’s video series and Michelle’s Partner’s Survival Guide, every couple experiencing the challenge of porn or sex addiction can overcome this and take the steps down a new path.
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The cure is the aggressive pursuit of a great life. Learn step by step how to cure your sex and porn addiction by aggressively pursuing a great life.
Craig Perra’s 12-Week Core Training Recovery Program lets you take your first step from the comfort of your own home, with the freedom of accessing his insights on all your devices. For those of you who need more time than 12 weeks, we give you a full 16 weeks to complete this program.
The same lessons I teach my one on one clients to teach you the skills you need to be successful.
The same workbook my one on one clients use to guide them through the program.
Weekly webinars with Mindful Habit Coaches to keep you on track and staying on the path to success in your journey.
Michelle Perra’s captivating Partner’s Survival Guide is an absolute must forstruggling couples.
Step by step instructions to guide you through the program with ease so you never wonder what to do next.
Learn how to specifically incorporate the lessons into your life so you get results.